Just about a month ago now, I was feeling an anxious, panic feeling all the time that I couldn't get to go away. I was in constant fear about the near future, especially about when the Savior will come again. I wasn't fearing Him coming, because that sounds wonderful, but I was fearing all of the horrible things that I know have to happen before He does come. We know from the scriptures that things are going to get bad, even really bad right before He comes again and my mind would play situations in my head that put me in a panic. What if I can't find Ben, what if he gets called out to assist in a world disaster and I am left to take care of myself and possibly children alone, what if I can't get to my family, what if we don't have enough food storage for our needs, what if those that I love are severely injured or even killed, what if, what if, what if..... I couldn't stop my mind from just spinning, and my spinning mind made me very afraid.
I didn't know what to do, and finally knew I had to talk to someone about it, otherwise I would continue to be a crying, fear stricken, almost paralyzed mess of a human. I knew my parents would have some good counsel for me and decided to talk to them.
I told them everything I was thinking, that sometimes I was confused by what to listen to, because so and so had a dream and wrote a book about it, this guy saw God in a vision where He told him blah blah blah and then decided to "warn" everyone about it, this lady had an out of body experience where she was told the Lord would blah blah blah and she posts it on Facebook, and this person just "knows". All of them members of the church and good people probably trying to do what's right, but the feelings I got when hearing or reading what they said made me afraid, fearful and anxious, which I knew weren't feelings of the Spirit.
My parents listened to my concerns and gave me the assurance that I would never be alone. That God would help me or send people to help me when I am in need. They also counseled me to be more diligent in doing my part, by reading my scriptures, praying, paying tithing, attending church and going to the temple. They are so wise. I love, respect and honor my parents for the faithful people they are.
My dad then gave me a blessing. In the blessing, he blessed me with peace, comfort, and a calm spirit. He also counseled me to only listen to the brethren of the church, meaning the prophet and the apostles. To tune everyone else out and wait for further instruction from the Lords chosen and set apart messengers..... Duh Jessica! Totally makes sense! I was instantly at peace and felt my spirit take a breath of relief! Why do we make things harder then they have to be? We have learned since we were in primary that we read our scriptures, say our prayers, go to church, pay 10%, go to the temple and follow the prophet. It really is that simple. We as adults just complicate it and make it harder than it has to be.
So, today as I was driving to work, I listened to the conference talk by Elder Bednar "Therefore They Hushed Their Fears" (link below). He talked about how in this world of bad things happening, crime on the rise, and men's hearts failing them, the Lord blesses those who seek Him and keep His commandments with hushed fears and peace in their hearts. I can say that through doing what He has asked all along, my fears have been hushed and I do feel peace. I love Him for the comfort He gives me if I do my part to deserve it. I am grateful for His patience and kindness towards me, even when I forget. I love Him. Oh, how I love Him.
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2015/04/therefore-they-hushed-their-fears?lang=eng
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